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I Learned This From My Coach

Nov 18, 2020

I learned something important from my coach recently that I want to share.  In the context of the chaos and uncertainty that has been 2020, he reminded me about the importance of how we show up in hardship. 

We have all struggled this year in some ways.  It's been a lot to handle.  We have that in common.  But as you look around, what do you notice about how people are showing up during the pandemic, during political turmoil, during racial and societal conflict?  We have all had the rug pulled out from under us as our nation is pulled apart and the world is ailing.

As a leader, your challenge is to show up differently than others, to rise above the melee, and help others pull themselves out as well.  And it's important to do this with humanity and compassion and kindness.  It's a tall order.  But the world needs leaders, more now than ever.  Your family needs leadership, your team needs leadership, your organization needs leadership, and your community needs leadership.  What is your part to play?

I want to help you, just as my coach helped me, so here are three things to think about.  Here are some ways to challenge yourself.  And here are some ways to set the example for others.

What is your vision for 2021? 

What is your picture of the future?  How do you see yourself?  What is the picture of the future that you can paint for others?  How can you help them connect to that future vision?  How will you achieve It? 

When you look at the last six months, to what degree have you lost your vision?  I know I have.  Like many others, I've just been trying to cope, to survive, to adjust and adapt to the circumstances, and to find ways to be helpful and encouraging to others.  I have not been focused on the future, but this is the time of the year when I always assess my year and plan for the new year.  And my conversations with my clients turn to celebrating accomplishments and setting some intentions for the future. 

So, what can you do to hit reset?  What can you imagine for yourself, your family, your team, your organization and your community?  How can you make a difference?

In order to gain clarity, I encourage you to spend some time thinking about this, talking about it, journaling about it. Let's collectively elevate our vision for the future.

What do you need to be more consistent about?

In a chaotic world, we all tend to seek out comfort, ease and convenience.  And, we let ourselves off the hook. We give in to the collective turmoil.  We let go of discipline and allow distractions to win out.  (I don't want to add up the number of series I completed on Netflix and Amazon Prime - but I know it's a lot).I've learned that the root cause of inconsistency is lack of necessity.  As a high performance coach, I know that raising necessity is one of the key habits for reaching high performance in any field.  We've learned that from the research.

What would it look like to take back your agenda, and make intentional choices about how you spend your time?  How can you take more personal responsibility for full engagement, for progress, for leadership?

I'm challenging you -- and myself -- to each do our part to raise the level of necessity.  This means a commitment to re-engage, re-focus, and re-calibrate.   And, to determine how to make that part of your daily, weekly and monthly schedule.  Re-gaining consistency will create progress and momentum.  It will build your motivation and increase your confidence -- and that will reflect back to the people who look to you for leadership.

How can you increase your level of persistence and determination?

If you think about just the last six months, how many things have you started, then stopped, because you met resistance -- maybe your own, maybe from others?  I know I can make a list and I can also justify every decision.  In other words, I can easily make excuses.  But, thinking ahead, creating a future vision and re-building a level of consistency to achieve it will require me to resurrect a level of perseverance that has helped me succeed over the long run - what about you?

Once you raise the level of necessity and create a schedule to become more consistent, you will need to commit to it with a renewed level of determination.

Part of the process of looking toward the end of 2020 is to determine what you gained, what you learned and what you contributed.  And, to recommit to your vision, your life priorities, and your core values.  I hope these questions and reflections help you as they have helped me.  Let me hear from you – just hit reply and share your comments.

My work as a coach is all about helping to improve the lives of other people.  In doing that, I get to improve my own life in big and small ways.  I’m so grateful for that.  Do you know anyone who needs a coach right now?  I currently have the capacity to help one or two private clients and I will be starting a new group program early in 2021, so let me know if you know someone I can help.  



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